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o l d-----n e w-----l a s t-----n e x t-----m e-----y o u-----m a i l-----n o t e s-----r i n g s-----

honk if you like peace!

28/09/01 @ 10:02 p.m.

I had to go to uni on Thursday to pick up my results, and on the way back we drove through the centre of Bristol. In the pedestrian area there were a bunch of people who clearly had a firm grip on reality and a deep understanding of the complexities of world politics, because they were holding up signs that read “Hoot for peace!”
You honestly read that right. They were holding up signs that encouraged the drivers to hoot, not for just any reason, but for the cause of world peace. I know it’s an obvious question, and I know everyone reading this will have already asked it by this point, but I just have to ask it myself: what the fuck are these idiots thinking?
Do they picture a messenger running up to the leader of the Taliban, throwing himself to his knees, thrusting his hands to the sky in a desperate prayer as he delivers the terrible news: “Sire, the people of Bristol are honking!” Do they picture men in suits racing to the Oval Office, interrupting Dubyah’s sleepytime to tell him, “Mr President, we’ve misjudged the situation. Scrap the plans for military reprisals - people in a town who didn’t vote for you, in a country you don’t lead, are pressing their horns in a bid to save mankind!”
Yes, friends, it’s true. On Thursday, September 27th, 2001, in a town called Bristol, in a land known as England, I found the dumbest people that have ever lived. If stupidity was height, these idiots would bang their heads on the sun.
What made me happy beyond the absolute futility of the protest was that it was in rush hour, so people were beeping horns like always, thinking to themselves “Try hitting the accelerator you dopey old bastard”, while the people on the side of the road were thinking “Chalk another one up for peace, lads, he honked for our side!”
But despite the usual road rage, I noticed most people weren’t honking, so, disgusted by the disaffected drivers and war-mongers around me, I went to beep my horn. It shames me to admit it, but unfortunately for our children and the future we all want for them, I hit the wrong button and inadvertently sprayed my windscreen with soapy water. If only I’d given it more thought we could have avoided the Third World War, but now me and my clean windows will have to bear the burden of knowing that our lack of honking destroyed the one chance for peace we really had.

b o o k m a r k s-----r u d i e s-----u p d a t e s-----m y--i l l n e s s -----m o v i e--r e v i e w s

Content and layout © Yawner, 2001. Hosted by Diaryland. Best viewed with IE5, probably pants with Netscape.


o l d-----n e w-----l a s t-----n e x t-----m e-----y o u-----m a i l-----n o t e s-----r i n g s-----







honk if you like peace!
28/09/01 @ 10:02 p.m.
I had to go to uni on Thursday to pick up my results, and on the way back we drove through the centre of Bristol. In the pedestrian area there were a bunch of people who clearly had a firm grip on reality and a deep understanding of the complexities of world politics, because they were holding up signs that read “Hoot for peace!” You honestly read that right. They were holding up signs that encouraged the drivers to hoot, not for just any reason, but for the cause of world peace. I know it’s an obvious question, and I know everyone reading this will have already asked it by this point, but I just have to ask it myself: what the fuck are these idiots thinking? Do they picture a messenger running up to the leader of the Taliban, throwing himself to his knees, thrusting his hands to the sky in a desperate prayer as he delivers the terrible news: “Sire, the people of Bristol are honking!” Do they picture men in suits racing to the Oval Office, interrupting Dubyah’s sleepytime to tell him, “Mr President, we’ve misjudged the situation. Scrap the plans for military reprisals - people in a town who didn’t vote for you, in a country you don’t lead, are pressing their horns in a bid to save mankind!” Yes, friends, it’s true. On Thursday, September 27th, 2001, in a town called Bristol, in a land known as England, I found the dumbest people that have ever lived. If stupidity was height, these idiots would bang their heads on the sun. What made me happy beyond the absolute futility of the protest was that it was in rush hour, so people were beeping horns like always, thinking to themselves “Try hitting the accelerator you dopey old bastard”, while the people on the side of the road were thinking “Chalk another one up for peace, lads, he honked for our side!” But despite the usual road rage, I noticed most people weren’t honking, so, disgusted by the disaffected drivers and war-mongers around me, I went to beep my horn. It shames me to admit it, but unfortunately for our children and the future we all want for them, I hit the wrong button and inadvertently sprayed my windscreen with soapy water. If only I’d given it more thought we could have avoided the Third World War, but now me and my clean windows will have to bear the burden of knowing that our lack of honking destroyed the one chance for peace we really had.
	b o o k m a r k s-----r u d i e s-----u p d a t e s-----m y--i l l n e s s -----m o v i e--r e v i e w s







	Content and layout © Yawner, 2001. Hosted by Diaryland. Best viewed with IE5, probably pants with Netscape.