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lookalikes: pure evil

25/08/01 @ 9:75 d.t.

I hate lookalikes. I really, really hate them. There’s some pretty lame ways to live, but getting paid to look like someone else has really gotta be one of the most pitiful. I wanna know how these people can have any kind of self-respect, and how they resist the overwhelming urge they must have to find a ledge and jump off on realising their absolute pointlessness.
Look at someone like George Lucas. This guy has talent and vision, and he worked hard through film school, he wrote and directed his own movies, he took the risk after his first few hits of financing the next, he pushed boundaries and took huge leaps forward in his art, and he deserves his success in return for the enjoyment he’s given to millions of people. His lookalike, meanwhile, gets work because he’s got the same kinda face as him. What an absolute fucker!
Michael Jackson has talent; his lookalike was fortunate that through no effort or talent himself, through a sheer coincidence of birth, he resembles Michael Jackson. Tom Hanks has talent; his lookalike was fortunate that through no effort or talent himself, through a sheer coincidence of birth, he resembles Tom Hanks. Madonna has no talent; her lookalike was fortunate that through no effort or talent herself, through a sheer coincidence of birth, she resembles Madonna. Are you spotting a pattern?
What the hell are we doing employing these people? How does this happen? What kind of sick mind thinks “I’m bald, I’m talentless, and I’m a lazy workshy bastard - I think I’ll pretend to be Patrick Stewart for the next fifty years”? And what kind of moron thinks “I need a gimmick for when I open my new store, I can’t afford to get Patrick Stewart to come cut the ribbon, I’ll get someone who looks just like him”? And what kind of dopey fuckwits are in the crowd seeing a lookalike cutting a ribbon, thinking “Oh, this is as good as the real thing”?
People are spending their lives looking like people with talent. Are we ever gonna run out of ways to piss life away?
In Deep Impact, the governments of the world learn that an asteroid is about to hit earth, and they have to choose who should be allowed to survive in the huge underground shelters, and who will have to die. Where on a list like this would be the lookalikes? How could we possibly justify keeping them alive? They are among the most pointless human beings that have ever existed. If that was my list, I’d send them up to the highest mountain and let the asteroid take them out first.

b o o k m a r k s-----r u d i e s-----u p d a t e s-----m y--i l l n e s s -----m o v i e--r e v i e w s

Content and layout © Yawner, 2001. Hosted by Diaryland. Best viewed with IE5, probably pants with Netscape.


o l d-----n e w-----l a s t-----n e x t-----m e-----y o u-----m a i l-----n o t e s-----r i n g s-----







lookalikes: pure evil
25/08/01 @ 9:75 d.t.
I hate lookalikes. I really, really hate them. There’s some pretty lame ways to live, but getting paid to look like someone else has really gotta be one of the most pitiful. I wanna know how these people can have any kind of self-respect, and how they resist the overwhelming urge they must have to find a ledge and jump off on realising their absolute pointlessness. Look at someone like George Lucas. This guy has talent and vision, and he worked hard through film school, he wrote and directed his own movies, he took the risk after his first few hits of financing the next, he pushed boundaries and took huge leaps forward in his art, and he deserves his success in return for the enjoyment he’s given to millions of people. His lookalike, meanwhile, gets work because he’s got the same kinda face as him. What an absolute fucker! Michael Jackson has talent; his lookalike was fortunate that through no effort or talent himself, through a sheer coincidence of birth, he resembles Michael Jackson. Tom Hanks has talent; his lookalike was fortunate that through no effort or talent himself, through a sheer coincidence of birth, he resembles Tom Hanks. Madonna has no talent; her lookalike was fortunate that through no effort or talent herself, through a sheer coincidence of birth, she resembles Madonna. Are you spotting a pattern? What the hell are we doing employing these people? How does this happen? What kind of sick mind thinks “I’m bald, I’m talentless, and I’m a lazy workshy bastard - I think I’ll pretend to be Patrick Stewart for the next fifty years”? And what kind of moron thinks “I need a gimmick for when I open my new store, I can’t afford to get Patrick Stewart to come cut the ribbon, I’ll get someone who looks just like him”? And what kind of dopey fuckwits are in the crowd seeing a lookalike cutting a ribbon, thinking “Oh, this is as good as the real thing”? People are spending their lives looking like people with talent. Are we ever gonna run out of ways to piss life away? In Deep Impact, the governments of the world learn that an asteroid is about to hit earth, and they have to choose who should be allowed to survive in the huge underground shelters, and who will have to die. Where on a list like this would be the lookalikes? How could we possibly justify keeping them alive? They are among the most pointless human beings that have ever existed. If that was my list, I’d send them up to the highest mountain and let the asteroid take them out first.
	b o o k m a r k s-----r u d i e s-----u p d a t e s-----m y--i l l n e s s -----m o v i e--r e v i e w s







	Content and layout © Yawner, 2001. Hosted by Diaryland. Best viewed with IE5, probably pants with Netscape.