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i am the people
15/08/01 @ 10:47 p.m.
Being a backward-looking twat, I’ve decided to become one of those “metric martyrs” and protest about the imperial system being replaced against the wishes of the people. Yes yes, I’m dedicating my life to a system of measurement, because it’s so very important. Inches, feet, pints and gallons; these are what made our country great. Somehow. I’m kinda sketchy on the details. How dare Brussels tell me I can’t sell grapes by the pound? This system’s been around since the dawn of time! It’s not like people complained when imperial replaced whatever was used before, right? Because there was no before, they used the imperial thing in the Garden of Eden. It says in the Bible Eve got in trouble for eating 2lbs of apples. What more proof do you need? And don’t even get me started on the Euro. I definitely wanna save the pound. I represent the people, me. Cuz even though the Tories lost the election on the “Save the Pound” platform, I still know everyone agrees with us. We lie awake at night worrying about it, don’t we? It’s about tradition, that’s what they don’t understand. My dad’s dead proud of me for standing up for my rights against the faceless bureaucrats who wanna take the pound. He campaigned against decimalisation, so he’s happy I’m fighting bureaucracy like he did. It's tradition. Who needs hindsight and foresight and common sense when you've got that?
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