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that shrinking feeling
12/10/02 @ 11:40 p.m.
I’m the first to admit when I’m wrong. I feel no shame, I have no regrets. So I say to the world now that my theory of future pubic fashion has not been largely endorsed by the scientific community. But I am not deterred, for I have come across a new vision of the future and of the fate that awaits us all. When I look at the world around me, I see its Bite-sized Shredded Wheat, its Micro Scooters and Mini Skateboards, its Fun Size Mars Bars and ant-sized mobile phones. I see laptops in place of room-sized computers, and palmtops in place of laptops. There can be only one logical end to this madness. If evolution notices what we’re doing to our Shredded Wheat, the human race will gradually shrink to restore the man-to-cereal ratio that nature intended. I therefore predict that by 2215, the average height of a human will be just seven and a half inches. By then, scientists will have developed techniques to make each Shredded Wheat measure just 4 square millimetres, and evolution will take notice once again so that by 2348 the world’s tallest man will stand proud at just two inches. The cycle will never end, and as the battle rages between evolution and fun-sized chocolate, human beings will eventually end up smaller than a grain of rice. Of course, by then a grain of rice will be so small as to appear invisible to the naked eye, so for the analogy to work the comparison would have to be between future-man and a grain of rice from the early 22nd century. But you get the point. Basically, we’re all doomed.
	b o o k m a r k s-----r u d i e s-----u p d a t e s-----m y--i l l n e s s -----m o v i e--r e v i e w s
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